Sliced Bread 2: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

Bob and I were having lunch the other day - bad pizza in the park. I had been bringing him up to speed on recent developments. He laughed when I told him about Fountain. "You, a supervillain?" he said. "Yeah, I can see that. What did Greyghost say?"

"He said just forget about it. He's got his plan, it's ticking along, no need to start improvising now. I think Cruickshank wanted me to string him along, but it's probably just as well; I didn't really want to mess with the guy too much."

"Huh. So--just a second." Bob started looking around.

"What?"

"I heard something."

"What?"

He kept looking. "I don't know. But I know it's not right." He started towards the woods, checking to his left and right as he strode. I followed, at a distance.

"Torque!" yelled a voice from the trees. "It's time to settle some old business!"

"Ah, hell," Bob said. "It's Evil Danny Wilcox. Dennis, you've got super powers now. Can you back me up here?"

"No way," I said. "I'm no superhero. I'm rear echelon."

"Look. Evil Danny's here for revenge. What he usually does in that situation is grab a hostage and try to get the superhero to jump off a bridge or something. I don't want you to fight him; I want you to get the hostage out of there. Now strap on a pair and let's go."

Aw, man. I ate a quarter.

Bob picked his way into the woods, making sure to make some noise, and I flew in, above and off to one side. In a clearing, I could see a guy in an orange battlesuit standing about fifteen feet from a big round glass thing. He had some guy tied up at his feet. "Don't get cute, Torque," he called out. "I've got a hostage here!"

"I'm here," Bob said, entering the clearing. "What's the idea?"

Evil Danny pointed to the big glass ball. "Get in."

"What is it?" Bob said, looking around for me. He saw me, and gave me a little what-are-you-waiting-for nod.

"Let's just say you're about to become the coolest souvenir ever produced in Empire City," Evil Danny sneered.

I didn't want to go down there. The guy's battlesuit was covered with spiky-looking weapons. Superpowers or no superpowers, I wasn't like an action guy. Crap.

I swooped in low, from behind and to the side, flying as fast as I could. The idea was I'd hit Evil Danny's legs so hard I'd wipe him out completely, and I could grab the hostage on the way by and drag him out of there.

Amazingly, it worked. I took the pins right out from under Evil Danny, and while Bob was smacking him around a little, I hauled the hostage away from the dangerous part.

That was actually kind of fun.