Sliced Bread 2: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

You can learn a lot about yourself by plugging your name into an anagram generator.

For instance, I apparently had a problem with diaper rash (LINER REDNESS) when I was a baby, maybe because the diapers were kept in a LINEN DRESSER. These days, I have to put up with ELDER SINNERS and work so late that I have to settle for eating LESSER DINNER.

Maybe I'm in the wrong line of work. I make so many mistakes that Cruickshank complains about my ENDLESS ERRIN'. Instead, I could be a money launderer (RINSES LENDER) or an artist (RENDERS LINES). Either way, I've got a good instinct for when someone is trying to put one over on me--just call me DR. LINE SENSER.

And, anyway, there are compensations--my girlfriend is a SLENDER SIREN (she may be a BAD-ASS CANARY who belongs to AS SCARY A BAND of superheroes as you'd care to meet, but she also has RANDY CASABAS and A CANDY-BAR ASS (whatever that is. It sounds sort of complimentary). If only she'd take it easy on herself and relax more (DR. SAYS 'CABANA!'). The other good anagram for Cassie's name is 'A SANDY SCARAB', but I'm not sure how to work that in. I hope she doesn't see all this, or she's liable to give me a SCAR, BAD AS ANY).