Sliced Bread 2: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

Well. I didn't know this job involved travel. And such an exotic location! Two nights, one day in beautiful rural Ass End of Nowhere. With Greyghost! Second prize is a whole week.

I've been working my way through Greyghost's Underhand file. It's slow going. I think Greyghost's organizing principle here was to take anything he suspected had anything to do with this Underhand guy and throw it in there. So not only do I have to read all these newspaper clippings and printouts and court transcripts and what have you, I also have to figure out what they're doing in there in the first place.

And I know this is a shocking thing to say, but a lot of the stuff in this folder isn't very interesting.

The fact that my life may just depend on it made it a little more interesting, but not much. I think part of my problem is that I'm not convinced Underhand is more than a figment of Greyghost's imagination.

Eventually I decided to go at it another way. I listed everybody Greyghost highlighted, and used his marginal notes to try to figure out what, if any, organizational structure there was. And I think I got it to make some sense:

Underhand: the secret leader of the whole thing. Don't know who he is. Don't know where he is. Don't know what he looks or sounds like. Greyghost seems to think he's from somewhere around Eastern Europe or Western Asia or thereabouts, but I don't know why. There's one letter from one exiled mob boss to his sister (no idea how Greyghost got hold of it, but it's one of the most interesting things in here) referring to him as a 'cold-eyed fishfaced bastard'.

Jonas Brand: Lawyer; Underhand's version of Cruickshank. His name mostly appears buried deep in court transcripts or in pictures in magazines appearing at some gala or benefit with women so beautiful they are legally allowed to execute up to five people a week.

Gavin Garment: Mayor of Empire City. Yikes.

Caroline Noah: Actress. I have no idea what she's supposed to be in all this, but it's clear Greyghost suspects her of something.

Asskicker and Nametaker: Supervillains, enforcers. Been in and out of jail a hundred times. Greyghost happened to be walking by as I was reading about them, and I asked him, "Asskicker and Nametaker--is that because they--"

"Yes," he said.

Rob U. Blynde, Headbanger, Qualm, Alabaster, Scari, Downsizer: Supervillains kept on Underhand's payroll by one means or another. I get the idea this is not a complete list. Can I just point out, again, what a way with names these people have?