Sliced Bread 2: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

Had a little chat with Greyghost today. I walked into the office and he was waiting at my desk. "Is there anything you'd like to tell me about?"

"Um... I've recently developed superpowers for no apparent reason?"

"Tell me about it."

"I think I'll sit down first," I informed him, and did so. "It started last week. I had a couple of nights where I couldn't sleep, and kept having weird dreams about money. Then Thursday morning I woke up and started eating all the coins I could find."

"Unusual."

"I thought so. I ate a whole lot of change to start with, and then a bit every now and then throughout the day. Then Friday morning I had a dime and it gave me the power of flight for ten minutes. Then a nickel for five minutes. And I found that all the metal kind of went into my skin." I banged on my arm to demonstrate.

"And now you can fly. This is why you haven't been in here as much recently?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I've just been kind of preoccupied. I can't--I don't know. I'll catch up, though."

He waved it off as unimportant. "I wonder what could have caused this. If I didn't know better, I would have said that you got these abilities from one of Mojo Mofo's artifacts, that you picked up early last week. But even if there was anything among them that could have bestowed this kind of power, your gloves should have shielded you from the effects."

"Oh, yeah, the gloves. Right." Oops.

"Mm. Let me think about this for a minute."

He thought about it for a minute. I fidgeted. I thought I was going to go nuts waiting for him to say something; I almost did laps around the room.

"It's likely that these abilities are temporary," he said. "Which means you have little to worry about. Enjoy them, I suppose, but carefully. Use your judgment. If you fly in public I suggest you wear a mask."

"I don't think it's temporary," I said. "It feels pretty permanent to me."

"That's possible. If so, you should start making plans."

"What kind of plans?"

"Plans for what your life is going to be like. Having this kind of inhuman ability changes things. If you're so inclined, I could use your help in my line of endeavor."

"Oh, no. No way. Not me. Have you heard nothing I've said for the past couple of years?"

"Mm. In any case we can address the future later. In the meantime I suggest you spend some time with your friend Ron."

"With Ron?"

"Yes. Also, I may get Nick to organize a poker game for this week."

I swear I have no idea how to explain the things that come out of this guy's mouth. "Um... okay. I guess I could do that."

"Mm."

"By the way, were you planning on congratulating me for achieving superhuman status, at all?"

"Not at present."

Now that's cold.